Tiger stripes. Lightning strikes. Stretchies. These are some of the pet names people (Chrissy Teigen among them) have come to use when talking about their stretch marks. As cute as they sound, the nicknames are proof that the naturally-occurring scars needed something of a re-brand in a society that has long deemed them undesirable.
In the ancient era, it's been rumoured that both the Greeks and Romans looked to the powers of olive oil to make stretch marks on pregnant bellies disappear. And in the 21st century, people readily use things like Photoshop and photo editing apps to make them vanish from ad campaigns, billboards, social media posts, and more. The problematic message that's sent, of course, is that stretch marks are unappealing. And what that's inevitably led to is a world of (mostly) women who understandably feel a variety of different emotions when they see stretch marks on their skin, zigzagging their way up their thighs, tummies, or sides.
Ahead, we talked to five women talk about their stretch marks, and what they really think about them now.
Jenna, an art student living in Indiana, had grown used to the stretch marks under her arms — but when she noticed new ones sprouting at the bottom of her stomach, it led to some mixed feelings. "Initially, I felt very disgusted and disappointed with myself," Jenna says. "I knew I had gained some weight and that was what had probably caused the stretch marks."
Now, her feelings about the marks coincide with how she's feeling about her body that day. "On some days, when my confidence is already feeling low, the stretch marks are something that intensify those feelings of being inadequate," she says. But she has other days where she feels empowered by them. "Sometimes I accept them as being a part of who I am and beautiful in their own way," she says. "They have a story of their own. It makes my skin unique."Before Nadia*, a radio presenter in South Africa, learned to love her stretch marks, she absolutely loathed them. "I would say I hated them when I was around 16 or 17," she says. "I was still in high school and starting to notice a huge change in my body. [I saw] other girls who didn't have stretch marks, which was very difficult for me at the time."
What helped her feelings change was ultimately throwing societal expectations out the window. "One of the things that helped me get over how I felt about them was accepting the way I look," she says. "And acknowledging that society will always have its own opinion of what's beautiful and attractive, and that their opinion shouldn't define how I view myself. I like referring to them as 'tiger stripes' because they make me fierce."
*Names have been changedJenna, a college student in Michigan, sees the stretch marks on her butt and hips as a symbol of strength. "I was [working out more and] trying to gain muscle, and they showed me I was still making progress and growing," Vanmarter says. "Every time I see them now, I honestly smile because it reminds me of the progress I’ve made in my fitness journey," she says.Chauncey, an English teacher in Spain, started noticing stretch marks on her butt when she was 11 years old. "At the time, I didn’t think anything of them as I saw other women in my family who had them in the same area," she says. But then they started to sprout in other places too, namely her breasts, arms, sides, and the front of her stomach. "I feel like they didn’t bother me at first, but as I started to get them in so many areas, I couldn’t stand it," she says. "They look so harsh and angry on the skin."
Now, Chauncey has her own skin-care routine for fading them, which includes exfoliating and rubbing on cocoa butter, aloe vera gel, and vitamin E. "Being able to fade them has just made me so happy," says Chauncey, who readily shares her home remedies with friends. "I know that there are other women out there who hate their stretch marks as much as I do, so that is why I decided to share some of my tips because they have really worked for me."To Roda, a linguistics student in Qatar, stretch marks represent her own personal journey to self-love. She first started noticing them on her butt and hips when she was 15 years old, during a time when she was also battling anorexia. "My weight used to fluctuate a lot, and that was the cause of my stretch marks," she says. "My stretch marks tell a story. All of the pain and suffering I went through while battling anorexia is on my butt and hips, and I think that’s the most beautiful thing about me. It shows what I went through and how strong I am."
The shift in the conversation around stretch marks has also led her to be more confident in her skin. "Someone told me that my stretch marks look like waves, like the ocean, and it makes sense," she says. "We all go through waves in life. The fact that it’s painted on my body is a blessing. It’s like a meaningful tattoo. It’s going to be there forever, and I’m glad it will be."
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After winning an Oscar for 2017's Get Out, Jordan Peele has prepared more nightmare fuel. Will his upcoming movie Us be just as terrifying as his directorial debut? From everything we know about it, it's possible we may never sleep again.
Peele has been notoriously tight-lipped about the plot of Us — Elisabeth Moss, who will star alongside Lupita Nyong'o, once joked that Peele would be out for blood should spoilers be leaked by the cast — but he's finally teased some deets about his upcoming project.
“I wanted to do something that was more firmly in the horror genre but still held on to my love of movies that are twisted but fun,” Peele told Entertainment Weekly of his upcoming film, which he called a “monster mythology.”
In terms of plot, the Us team would only reveal that it centres on Adelaide (Nyong'o) and Gabe Wilson (Winston Duke), who take their children on a beach vacation. However, after Adelaide gets home from the beach, she becomes overwhelmed with the feeling that something is very, very wrong. That feeling is seemingly confirmed when the Wilsons see four people, dressed in all red, standing outside their home.
While Peele won't tease more than that, the social media team at production company Blumhouse certainly can. Enjoy this (spoiler-y?) message and scissor-centric accompanying video.
“Join the Untethering and get ready for a new nightmare from the mind of @JordanPeele, writer/director of Get Out. The trailer for Us drops Christmas day. #WatchYourself.”
What is the Untethering? It's obviously important, because Peele refuses to tell us. Could it connect to the Sunken Place of Get Out, and the severing of control from one's body? The Rorschach test artwork that follows does suggest the film may be focused on the brain in some capacity… which was also a big focus of Get Out. If Us really is a secret sequel… it would certainly make sense why Peele is keeping it so under wraps.
That being said, it's also very likely that Us is a completely new, equally horrifying story from the brain of Peele. It may even be more horrifying. The trailer for Us hits the internet December 25, so we'll place our official bets then.
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When Lucy Henry* returned to work at her supermarket job after trying to take her own life, she didn’t expect to be punished by her boss.
“I was called in for a disciplinary for my absence, and in that disciplinary I said I’d attempted suicide,” says Lucy, who was having a “rough patch” at the time, in 2014. “[My employers] adjourned it halfway through to discuss, and when I returned they continued to give me a written warning about the absence.”
Lucy, now 29, was suffering from premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), a hormone sensitivity disorder that affects 5-10% of people who menstruate. Though it’s known colloquially as “severe PMS”, PMDD is much more severe, with intense symptoms. These range from the physical – fatigue, blurred vision and loss of appetite – to the psychological, like rage, paranoia and depression. Like Lucy, an estimated 15% of women with PMDD will attempt an act of suicide, while even more experience suicidal thoughts.
While many women dread the bleeding phase of the menstrual cycle, for women with PMDD, the sign of blood is a blessing. Their symptoms fade and life returns to “normal”. Until next month, when it all begins again.
“Some women will say PMDD feels like a half life,” says Dr Tory Eisenlohr-Moul, a clinical psychologist specialising in the menstrual cycle and director of the Cyclical Mood Disorders Clinic in Chicago. Because PMDD is tied to hormonal changes triggered by ovulation, symptoms are cyclical. “It’s a continuum.”
Unlike PMS, which most women of reproductive age will experience to a greater or lesser degree, the symptoms of PMDD are so intense they disrupt everything in the sufferer's life, from relationships to work.
Many women suffering PMDD find it gruelling to hold down jobs, let alone pursue a career. Of the 12 women with PMDD I spoke to, all had at some point adjusted their work life and dreams to suit the disorder.
“I lasted less than a day at my dream job,” says Laura Murphy, a PMDD sufferer who runs Vicious Cycle, a project raising awareness of the condition. “I was having panic attacks at lunch and in the toilet. My boyfriend had to come and get me.”
Of the 12 women with PMDD I spoke to, all had at some point adjusted their work life and dreams to suit the disorder.
Murphy ended up working temporary jobs that afforded her a level of flexibility to work around her PMDD weeks. “I didn’t want to be trapped, owned and constantly in disciplinaries,” she says. “You do the job and you go, which was perfect for me.”
Lucy’s dream is to work in art. “I’m creative,” she says, “but when I’ve got my PMDD, picking up a paintbrush is the last thing I want to do. Your motor skills [reduce], and I find less patience and less ability.”
“Women with PMDD find it particularly hard to be around people when they’re at work,” says Clare Knox, a PMDD researcher and educator, who is conducting a study into PMDD in the workplace. “Normal workplace practices that we all take for granted can be difficult.”
To cope, many women “mask” their symptoms at work, says Knox. “One woman said it’s like Mary Poppins on crack. You go to work and put on a mask, but inside are crippled with depression, anxiety, maybe thoughts of suicide, but you can’t release that in the workplace.”
However, suppressing symptoms can have long-term effects on health and wellbeing, says Knox. “It’s a negative coping mechanism. Suppression is dangerous.”
Most of the women I spoke to had also experienced discrimination throughout their working life.
Lucy’s employers continued to show a lack of compassion and support after her suicide attempt, she says. “I was trying to manage my absence as much as I was going to work, rationing my days off so I wasn’t getting disciplinaries.” She eventually left the job due to stress.
“I was put on the self-service checkout during my PMDD week and it was too much. I ended up walking out. I couldn’t cope.”
While quitting offers an escape, looking for new work can be even more difficult.
“When I was applying for jobs, if I mentioned [PMDD] in an interview, the interview ended abruptly afterwards,” says Lucy. “I’ve never got a job where I mentioned it in the interview [so] I’ll never mention it in an interview again.”
Knox says a stigma surrounding female reproductive issues leads to unfair treatment and misunderstandings. “We don’t feel the workplace is open to discussing reproductive health,” she says.
It’s like Mary Poppins on crack. You go to work and put on a mask, but inside are crippled with depression, anxiety, maybe thoughts of suicide.
“PMDD is a complex condition which can face both menstrual and mental health stigma,” she says. “It is also an invisible disorder, which means that it can be overlooked or easily dismissed.”
“Some women report negativity from female colleagues, who trivialise PMDD as 'just period pain'. This stems from a lack of awareness or lived experience of menstrual problems and can cause a lot of additional anxiety for sufferers in the workplace.”
Through her organisation See Her Thrive, Knox runs workshops for employers on how to support female staff with reproductive health disorders like PMDD. “The workplace has the potential for being a really important support network for women with PMDD if they have the people to talk to, resources to share and seek help.”
“I want this to be a wake-up call for companies to put reproductive health on their agenda.”
Despite PMDD being listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition as a “depressive disorder not otherwise specified”, some health professionals are known to deny its existence. Some haven’t even heard of it. While it can occur alongside other mental health problems, PMDD is often falsely diagnosed as bipolar disorder or major depressive disorder. Some are told it is simply PMS.
Lucy, who has endured severe depressive episodes since she was 13, had seen “30 to 40” doctors over 15 years before she was diagnosed in 2016, aged 27. “You have to really fight that it’s not PMS,” says Lucy. Doctors “played down” her experience, she says, with one doctor telling her that “this is just the way it is”.
PMDD sufferers' experiences were affirmed in 2016 when the condition was officially classified by the World Health Organization. There is now a growing body of evidence and understanding of PMDD, and it’s an active research subject.
Things improved for Lucy. She was referred to a mental health team and prescribed antidepressants, a common form of PMDD treatment. Others have hormonal therapy like birth control pills or hormonal injections that bring on a “chemical menopause”, or a total hysterectomy, the surgical removal of the uterus.
Lucy now has a part-time job in a local garden centre, which is more understanding of her condition. Her boss is letting her avoid customer areas during the Christmas shopping period so she doesn’t get overwhelmed. “They don’t know much about PMDD, but they’re willing to make allowances for it.”
While exercise helps, Lucy says no treatment has totally “cured” her yet, leading her to consider more permanent treatments. She’s thinking about having a child soon, so she can have her uterus removed.
“It deducts so much from my life that I would like to have some of my younger years with the freedom from PMDD,” she says, “to start improving career paths and becoming a bit more successful.”
Fake tan, because sometimes you have the night free and can commit to sleeping in a slightly sticky coating and rinsing it off in the morning, and other times you need to just tactically tan exposed bits of skin. Sometimes you need something that will wash off and not leave any telltale marks (ask me about the incident with the white sofa in the Chanel press office in 2015 once I’ve had a glass of wine).
And finally, foundation, because the different seasons bring different humidity levels and quantities of sunlight, and you need to respond accordingly. In summer, you’ll probably want something featherlight but utterly sweat-proof; winter makes you want something a little more cosseting.
Truthfully, finding the perfect foundation is down to personal preference and there is no 'right' option. I always go for serum-weight foundations and layer on extra concealer if I want more coverage, but I have friends who prefer to go heavyweight and just use it more sparsely. More than anything, I’d advise you to choose something with some moisture-retaining ingredients. There’s zero humidity right now, and central heating only exacerbates that, which can lead to the dreaded flaky patches and 'tight' feeling. Glycerin, sodium PCA and hyaluronic acid are all ones to hunt for – Glossier Perfecting Skin Tint has glycerin and bareMinerals Complexion Rescue has hyaluronic acid, and I love both of those.
Aside from your makeup, the right skincare will make a world of difference this time of year. Just like with foundation, I’m a fan of light layers when it comes to skincare. Right now, I love Medik8 B5 Serum and La Roche-Posay Hyalu B5 Serum – both have healing panthenol and buckets of hyaluronic acid to help keep the skin springy and plump, and I’ve yet to find a better nighttime offering than SkinCeuticals Metacell Renewal B3. Different from B5, B3 is also known as niacinamide, and helps reinforce the skin’s moisture barrier. Moreover, make sure you’re giving your skin some sort of gentle daily exfoliation to remove any flakiness, and be sure to top up your hydration levels after.
Oh, and one more thing? There’s no such thing as too much blending when it comes to foundation. Seriously, buff your heart out, then buff some more.
Good luck!
Daniela
Got a question for our resident beauty columnist Daniela Morosini? No problem, qualm or dilemma is too big, small or niche. Emaildeardaniela@refinery29.uk, including your name and age for a chance to have your question answered. All letters to ‘Dear Daniela’ become the property of Refinery29 and will be edited for length, clarity, and grammatical correctness.
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With 2019 set to bring even more old cases to the small screen (first up is Netflix's Conversations With A Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes about the notorious serial killer Ted Bundy, who targeted young women across the United States in the 1970s), it's going to be hard to keep up with the latest goings on in the cases you've invested in thus far.
Here, to help you out, is the latest news in some of the most watched, and listened to, true crime series.
The Murder of Hae Min Lee
The show:Serial
What happened: The murder of 18-year-old Hae Min Lee was the focus of season one of Serial, the podcast which is responsible for a) our true crime obsession and b) our podcast obsession. Helmed by This American Life's Sarah Koenig, Serial took a look at the accusation and trial of Lee's ex-boyfriend Adnan Syed, who is serving life plus 30 years for her murder. The podcast's most important finding was that Asia McClain, who hadn't been called as a witness at Syed's original trial, claimed to have been speaking with him while he was supposed to have attacked Lee.
What happened next: Things got complicated. First, Asia McClain was allowed to testify at a post-conviction relief hearing which would decide whether or not Syed could get a new trial. Then, in 2016, a new trial was granted. Syed's lawyers asked if he could get bail but the request was denied. Later in 2016, the request for a new trial was upheld. Right now, the case is being heard by Maryland's top court which will decide whether to reinstate Syed's conviction (it was overturned in 2016 after finding Syed's now-deceased lawyer Cristina Gutierrez "ineffective"). If they do not reinstate Syed's conviction, he will win the right to a trial (again). Confused? Of course.
Hae's family were not happy about the podcast (see Hae's brother's heartfelt post on Reddit at the time where he says: "To you listeners, its another murder mystery, crime drama, another episode of CSI... TO ME ITS REAL LIFE."). His last post was in r/serialpodcast two years ago where he debunked a Reddit sleuth's latest "evidence". The last time the family spoke publicly was in July 2016 when they released a statement concerning news of Syed's new trial. "We do not speak as often or as loudly as those who support Adnan Syed, but we care just as much about this case. We continue to grieve. We continue to believe justice was done when Syed was convicted of killing Hae."
Syed is now 38 years old and resides in the North Branch Correctional Institution in Maryland.
The case is also being given the TV treatment. Earlier this year, HBO and Sky announced a documentary series called The Case Against Adnan Syed from Academy Award-nominated director Amy Berg. The series is due out in 2019.The Murder of Teresa Halbach
The show:Making A Murderer
What happened: In 2005, Steven Avery, a man who had just spent 18 years behind bars after being wrongfully convicted of rape and attempted murder, was arrested and charged with the murder, sexual assault and kidnapping of photographer Teresa Halbach. His DNA was found in her hidden car and her burned bones were found near his home. Avery's nephew Brendan Dassey was charged as an accessory in the case after he confessed to helping Avery kill Teresa and dispose of the body.
The series looked back at the trial, the allegations that Avery was 'framed' and examines whether Avery and Dassey were treated fairly by the justice system. After season one, Dassey's conviction was overturned when his lawyers claimed that his confession was obtained unfairly, but in 2017 an appeal saw his conviction upheld.
Series two of Making A Murder came out a few months back and, despite new evidence being introduced, the last episode came to a close as a new trial for Avery was rejected.
What happened next: Stuff is unfolding right now. Firstly, the filmmakers of Making A Murderer are being sued by Sergeant Colburn for defamation. Avery's attorney is also getting that pelvic bone found over a mile away from Avery's home DNA tested, in the belief that it may belong to Teresa.
In the meantime, Brendan Dassey is still in prison at Green Bay Correctional while appeals are made against the decision to overturn his conviction. His lawyers say he gets 30-40 letters a day from people all over the world who say "hang in there". He is 29 and will be eligible for early release in 2048.
Steven Avery is at Waupun Correctional. His lawyer Kathleen Zellner is extraordinarily active on Twitter and holds frequent #AskZellner sessions where she responds to an astonishing number of questions about the case. Following her is your best way of keeping up to date with what's going on.The Disappearance of Lynette Dawson
The show:The Teacher's Pet
What happened: In 1987, Lyn Dawson, a childcare worker and mother to two little girls, disappeared from her home in the affluent suburbs of Sydney. Her husband Chris Dawson, a teacher at the local school and an ex-football player who was highly respected by the community, claimed she ran away with a religious cult. In the meantime, he moved his teenage girlfriend Joanne Curtis (she was also the babysitter) into the house as his live-in girlfriend. The two later married but divorced. Joanne claims Chris was abusive. Two coroner's reports found Chris guilty of Lyn's death, but a body has never been found.
The Teacher's Pet podcast from The Australian newspaper picked up where the investigation left off (which was not very far along tbh). It uncovered a wealth of new evidence and prompted a new dig at the Dawson family home for Lyn's body. Then, in December, Chris Dawson was arrested for murder.
What happened next: It's all very much happening right now. On 5th December, Chris Dawson was arrested for the murder of his wife Lynette Dawson. He appeared in court for a bail hearing where he is reported to have shouted "you're kidding" at the crown's argument. His bail was set at $1.5 million; as of 20th December, he is still in jail.The Death of Kathleen Peterson
The show: The StaircaseThe Murder of JonBenet Ramsey
The show: Casting JonBenet
What happened: At Christmas 1996, JonBenét Ramsey, a six year old pageant queen, was found murdered at her house in Colorado.The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman
What happened: In June 1994, Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman were stabbed to death outside her home. After a highly publicised car chase, Nicole's ex-husband, celebrity ex-football star-turned-actor O.J. Simpson was arrested and charged with murder, prompting the most famous murder trial in history. Simpson was eventually found not guilty and was released in October 1995. Over the past years, the case has been thrust back into the mainstream thanks to the documentary series O.J.: Made in America and the serialised drama The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story.
What happened next: Nothing good for O.J. Simpson. First, he lost a wrongful death suit filed by Ron Goldman's family which awarded the Browns and the Goldmans $33.5 million in compensation. Then, O.J. Simpson attempted to release a book called If I Did It, which outlined the events of the murders if Simpson had committed them. The project was cancelled and the rights of the book were awarded to Ron Goldman's family.
Since then it's been legal issue after legal issue. He was arrested in 2001 for stealing the glasses off a fellow motorist (he was acquitted). His house was raided in 2001 by the FBI on suspicion of money laundering and ecstasy possession. He was arrested in 2002 for speeding through a manatee protection zone (really), he was fined in 2004 for trying to illegally pirate satellite TV (again, really). In 2006, in a non-legal issue development, he starred in an ill-fated prank-style TV show called Juiced with O.J. Simpson (the episode of This American Life from a guy who worked on the show is desperately sad and one of the podcast's best, IMHO).
In 2007, however, things finally came crashing down when he was arrested for a bungled robbery in Las Vegas and sentenced to 33 years in prison. He was released on parole in 2017 after serving nine years.
When someone utters the word 'reboot', 'revival' or even 'sequel', I tend to shudder. Why, oh why, are we so insistent on dragging gems from the past into current circulation? Shouldn't some films just be left well alone? I initially thought the same of Mary Poppins Returns. But then I watched the new version, spoke to Emily Blunt about taking on such a beloved character and I am sold. Welcome back Nanny Pops.
Ahead of the UK release of Mary Poppins' latest adventure, I met Blunt to discuss her memories of the original film and how she found stepping into those famous shoes. Expectation-wise, she just hoped to be able to “protect the spirit of the original and the amazing imprint it's had on so many people's lives”. She added: “I think that's the trick, to pay homage and yet we all had to have some guts to carve out new space for ourselves.”
And carve new space they did. If you were expecting uncomfortable revivals of “Chim Chim Cher-ee” and “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”, banish that from your minds now. Though the next cinematic instalment in the story – picking up in the 1930s when the Banks children are adults and Michael has kids of his own – is sweetly interwoven with relics from Julie Andrews' era, what we have is very much a new-iteration Mary Poppins. Blunt agrees that she's incredibly sassy but also vain, weird and funny in a very fresh way, and bringing something new to the part was something she was very conscious of.
From the singing (which Blunt loved) to the dancing (not so much) and everything in between, I asked Blunt to tell us a bit more about why Mary Poppins is such a wonderful character to play, the best advice she's given the world and why there is much more magic to be had. Watch the video below to find out where she stands on it all.
Mary Poppins Returns is in UK cinemas 21st December
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If you thought Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas' wedding looked extravagant, just wait until you see Ziad and Sewar's 600-person soirée. “Ziad wanted a really, really small wedding and I like big weddings, so we compromised and ended up with a number of 600 attendees,” Sewar joked before the big day.
When the couple got engaged, the pressure was on to plan the perfect day because the bride is a wedding planner. “It has to be an amazing wedding. I'm a wedding planner — everyone's going to look at our work. It's much more difficult than deciding on other people's behalf. So, it's really has been very, very, very stressful,” said Sewar. Despite her concerns, the stunning event definitely lived up to expectations. It took place in Beirut, Lebanon — after a few locations in Europe didn't pan out because of after-hours party restrictions — and featured a combination of religious and cultural traditions.
After the traditional church ceremony, all that was left to do was celebrate the new union with a party that combined classic elements with the avant-garde. In this week's episode of World Wide Wed, watch the couple tie the knot and do plenty of dancing with Sewar's ornate, flowing veil.
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Kristen Clark*, 31, used to work as a nanny for a wealthy family in New York City. After four years taking care of the family’s children, her boss was granted a promotion, and asked Kristen if she would be interested in transitioning out of her childcare role and into a property management position.
“I said yes without even thinking,” Clark says. “I realised I was in way over my head approximately one week later.”
Today’s job market can be competitive, and it’s understandable that job applicants gravitate towards the opportunities they feel qualified for. For women, however, this tendency has a concerning side effect of falling behind their male peers. You’ve probably already heard the quote: Men apply for jobs when they meet 60% of the qualifications, compared to women who will apply only when they meet 100%.
This phenomenon has also been lumped under the catchphrase “the confidence gap,” which outlines many of the ways in which women are less-self assured than men. When it comes to navigating the professional world, however, confidence is key. Whether you’re vying for a competitive internship straight out of college, looking to cinch a promotion, or even attempting to pivot industries mid-career, having the self-assuredness to put yourself out there for an opportunity that may not qualify fully for is, arguably, a solid strategy for getting ahead. This, after all, was part of the reason why Clark took the job in the first place.
Five years after starting her job as a nanny, Clark found herself overseeing five homes as a property manager. She allowed herself to operate independently and make mistakes as she went, making sure to correct them and learn from them.
“Essentially I was allowed to fail at a project and then fix it before my boss even knew I had failed once,” Clark explains. Looking back, Clark realises that this move ended up making her feel powerful and capable. “I really relished in the power of my boss handing me the wheel and of the trust she gave me in making decisions spontaneously on her behalf.”
Emily Brown*, 25, found herself in a similar situation as Clark after seeing a posting for a styling manager for fashion week. “I showed them some footage of me as a backstage stylist for different show that I had previously worked on,” Brown says, adding that the footage had been from the only other fashion show she had ever worked on (and that she’d embellished her experience to get that gig, too).
I learned that, unless you fake it until you make it and, in a way, trick people into thinking you know the answers, you’ll never get ahead.
Both of these women say that stepping into these supposedly out-of-reach roles “felt amazing.” Before taking the property management position, Clark had worked in a male-dominated industry and says she rarely got to work with other women. Because of this, Clark never felt she had the ability to be aggressive. “It wasn’t until I worked with a woman boss that I learned that, unless you fake it until you make it and, in a way, trick people into thinking you know the answers, you'll never get ahead,” Clark explains.
“This is what men do,” says Cynthia Pong, a feminist career coach at Embrace Change who helps professional women step into their power. “If we ever want the upper echelon of anything to not keep looking the way it looks, we have to go for things and make people pay attention to us.”
Pong explains that many of her clients have hesitated to go after roles that feel out of their reach. “A lot of people say, ‘if only i had more training, more experience, then I’d go for this thing,’ but you learn by doing.” She adds that when considering a list of qualifications for a job posting, not to get too hung up on having every single one of them because even the employers themselves aren't expecting that. “Job descriptions are created in this world where you’re describing your ideal, superhuman candidate, so you have to remember that they’re not always reasonable asks. They’re sometimes a fantasy.”
She adds that most people have numerous similar or transferable skills that can be analogised to the ones on the job posting. And, if not, Pong says to remember that every applicant has learned new skills before and can do so again in a different context. Pong recommends highlighting past successes and experiences in similar situations, adding that the experience does not necessarily have to be from a paid job. “[Show how] your experience doing similar things makes you well equipped to handle these types of tasks or environment — say it unapologetically.”
Once you’ve landed the job, Pong says it’s important to ask what it will take to be successful in the role and how your success will be measured. Pong says that believing in yourself and your capability is very important, but you also have to make sure that you follow through, particularly if you're making up for a lack of experience or reputation in that field. “Saying affirmations is helpful, but you do have to put in the work,” Pong says, adding that it's worth an ask to see if your boss will support you in attending trainings and scheduling regular check-ins. She also suggests finding an ally or mentor in your new workplace ecosystem, and not being shy to ask for help if and when you need it.
Job descriptions are created in this world where you’re describing your ideal, superhuman candidate, so you have to remember that they’re not always reasonable asks.
Cynthia Pong
“Most women are capable of so much more than they’ve ever done,” says Brown, adding that she now regularly goes after positions she's not fully qualified for, each opportunity leading her to a better one the next time. Similarly, Clark has continued to apply for positions she is “under-qualified” for. “I now work with a company who believes in hiring under-qualified applicants who believe in and align with our brand, and putting in the time to train them,” Clark says. “In a small twist of fate, I am now shifting into an HR role and will pay it forward accordingly.”
Ultimately, applying for jobs is never easy: It takes preparation, experience, and desire, but we must not forget that it also requires initiative and, often, a bit of risk. Still, if Clark and Brown's experiences are any indication, applying for things that feel slightly out of your reach can quickly transform into a lucrative and career-transforming habit. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective — and, certainly, attitude.
“[Now] whenever I’m trying to get a gig I always try to have the confidence of a white man who also isn’t qualified for the position,” Brown concludes. “Somehow that always works.”
*Name has been changed
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The very meaning of controversy has been contested in 2018. With so much access to celebrities, the beginnings and ends of their relationships are only considered high drama when one of them makes a chart-topping anthem about being an ex. Cheating on a pregnant girlfriend is only news when you make a habit of it. In the midst of the #MeToo movement, predatory men falling from famous grace is a regular occurrence, unless you're in hip-hop.
These were some of 2018’s biggest celebrity controversies that dominated the headlines and our group chats.
How are Nick Jonas & Priyanka Chopra even real?
If you’ve seen photos of their majestic wedding, this is a legitimate question. The most famous woman in India married a far less famous American sibling, and it became its own kind of royal wedding that (almost) put Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s to shame. Beyond their modern-day fairy tale relationship, their union became an actual controversy when more than a few people pondered if their relationship had PR roots. When The Cut dared to allow one writer to wonder this aloud in a now-redacted piece, it brought attention to the racist/xenophobic undertones that some people still carry about a woman of colour marrying a (less) successful white man.Photo: Azhar Khan/SOPA Images/REX/Shutterstock.Quincy Jones spills too much tea.
The older you get, the more respect you command. When you’re an 85-year-old and also one of the greatest musical innovators in the world, you can pretty much say what you want. That’s exactly what Quincy Jones did earlier this year, ruffling plenty of feathers in the process. First, in a January GQ interview, Jones made it very clear that he was unimpressed with Taylor Swift as both a singer and songwriter. He claimed to have seen Ray Charles shoot heroin into his testicles. He gave details on the infamous feud between Michael Jackson and Prince. The very next month, he spilled more tea for Vulture. He suggested that Jackson — yes, the Michael Jackson — stole some of his greatest hits. He also claimed to have gone on a date with Ivanka Trump, and that once upon a time, Richard Pryor and Marlon Brando were lovers. It was a lot. He eventually had to apologise for the undertones of homophobia and sexism in his comments after his daughters intervened. But he never took back any of the details.Photo: Mark Von Holden/BAFTA/REX/Shutterstock.Lil Xan keeps it too real.
I had no clue who Lil Xan was before he briefly dated Noah Cyrus (who I also couldn’t have pointed out in a line up prior to the MTV Video Music Awards). What I know now is that he can’t handle Flamin Hot Cheetos, as they sent him to the hospital earlier this year; he has broken up with Noah and now has a new girlfriend; and he has entered rehab. But he reached peak controversy when he claimed that his relationship with Cyrus had been set up by Columbia Records to promote their music. Both Columbia and Cyrus denied this (but of course they did).Photo: Amy Sussman/REX/Shutterstock.Arie Luyendyk Jr. changed his mind.
As The Bachelor, you have literally one job: Pick one woman out of a couple dozen to be your girlfriend. Luyendyk fumbled this when he asked Rebecca "Becca" Kufrin to marry him during the finale, but then changed his mind when he decided that he actually wanted to be with runner-up Lauren Burnham. The "unedited" breakup conversation (which was more like an ambush) was aired during a very long episode of The Bachelor. It was beyond uncomfortable.Photo: Mediapunch/REX/Shutterstock.Logan Paul went to Japan.
YouTuber Logan Paul revealed that he had zero levels of class when he posted a video that included someone who died by suicide at the base of Mount Fuji in Japan. He was blasted by politicians, celebrities, and members of the YouTube community for his insensitivity in posting the video. One Change.org petition calling for his channel to be deleted got over 500,000 signatures. YouTube took a really long time to respond, but eventually severed some ties to the content creator. He is still active on the site.Photo: Sara Jaye Weiss/REX/Shutterstock.Blac Chyna’s Post-Kardashian Year.
Just because she was no longer directly mixed up with the Kardashians didn’t mean that Blac Chyna went controversy-free this year. In February, she was victim to revenge porn after a video of her performing oral sex was released. As is the case in rape culture when cyber attacks against women’s privacy aren’t taken seriously, most of the conversation about the video were critiques of her fellatio skills. Not long after that, she was involved in a brawl at a Six Flags where she turned a stroller into a weapon. People were also freaked out when it was revealed that she was in a relationship with an 18-year-old. And just last month, she was slammed for partnering with Whitenicious by Dencia to sell a skin bleaching cream that will be marketed in Africa. Her lawsuit against the Kardashians is also still ongoing.Photo: Amy Sussman/REX/Shutterstock.Roseanne gets rebooted... then just booted.
Simply being a female Trump supporter in 2018 wasn’t enough controversy for Roseanne Barr. In March, the reboot of Roseanne (a sitcom that I admittedly loved as a teen) was cancelled after its star compared Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett to an ape. The racist tweet not only prompted ABC Entertainment’s then-president to issue a swift and stern announcement regarding the cancellation, but many of the Roseanne’s own co-stars publicly condemned her words in the aftermath.Photo: Carsey-Werner/Wind Dancer Prod/Kobal/REX/Shutterstock.NXIVM faced justice.
Smallvilleactress Allison Mack was arrested in April in a case against an organisation called NXIVM. The charges involved sex trafficking, sex trafficking conspiracy, and forced labor conspiracy. Reports of sex slaves, diet control, and branding in what has been labeled a "cult" have since emerged.Photo: Bebeto Matthews/AP/REX/Shutterstock.Drake’s “good guy’ image is tarnished.
When Pusha T released “Infrared,” in May, it was the beginning of a nasty feud between the two rappers that is still ongoing. This in itself isn’t super controversial. Rappers beef everyday. However, Drake had some explaining to do when his opponent released “Story of Adidon” which including details of the Canadian rapper's past. Photos of Drake in Blackface re-emerged, along with the allegation that he had a secret child with artist and former adult film star Sophie Brussaux. Drake confirmed the latter on his album Scorpion with the line “I wasn’t hiding my child from the world. I was hiding the world from my child.” It was a pretty damning blow to the guy who’d mastered a good guy persona. Earlier this month, West also had some words for Drake on Twitter, finally responding to Drake's sneak-dissing on Travis Scott’s “Sicko Mode.”Photo: JLN Photography/REX/Shutterstock.We witnessed the end of Pariana.
The romantic relationship between Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson is an independent entity with its own life force. It lives on as we speak in the form of a pair of 20-something exes. News of their relationship hit the internet just a week after reports surfaced that he’d broken up with his girlfriend, Cazzie David. Less than a month later, Grande and Davidson were engaged. The timeline of their engagement didn’t add up to fans, a saga that Refinery29's Kathryn Lindsay carefully documented. But the real controversy came in the wake of their October split. Team Grande went wild after she released “Thank U, Next,” the breakup anthem of the year. But while Grande seemed to be celebrating in the midst of the breakup, things have been dark for Davidson. In December, he posted some cryptic messages on Instagram about online bullying and his own mental health. They were alarming enough that some of his friends, including Grande, rushed to be by his side. Grande was reportedly turned away from the SNL offices.Photo: Stephen Lovekin/REX/Shutterstock.Tristan Thompson repeats history.
Just days before she was set to give birth to their daughter True in April, Kourtney Kardashian got some horrible news. Videos of her boyfriend Tristan Thompson kissing another woman at a hotel had surfaced online. Obviously, it’s pretty foul that Thompson would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend. But it was especially suspect considering that when he and Khloé started dating, he was expecting a child with his ex-girlfriend Jordan Craig. He’s now known as the dude who leaves his women just as they prepare to bring his children into the world. Trash!Photo: Sansho Scott/BFA/REX/Shutterstock.Cardi B and Nicki Minaj feuded.
Rap juggernauts Cardi B and Nicki Minaj went at it all year long in songs, music videos, on Instagram and Twitter, on Nicki’s radio show, and at New York Fashion Week, when things got physical and Cardi threw a shoe. If you ask me, it’s been the single most divisive issue in our country since the 2016 election.Photo: Charles Sykes/Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock.Nicki Minaj’s taste in men.
It takes two to tango, so in the ongoing beef between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj, each of them were involved in their own personal drama, and headlines. While the feud has been an unfortunate shadow on an otherwise successful year for Cardi, Nicki, meanwhile, has been busy with a few additional feuds. First she added Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott to her list of sworn enemies when she accused them of sabotaging the success of her album Queen by promoting his AstroWorld tour. She called out several DJ’s for contributing to her rivalry with Cardi. She cancelled a leg of her own tour claiming that she needed more time to prepare, but other sources suggest that it’s because of dismal ticket sales. It was also disheartening that she’d invited Tekashi 6ix9ine to join her on the tour given his troubling history with women. To round out the year on even less-sure footing, she’s been bragging about her new man, who is a registered sex offender after attempting to rape a girl at knifepoint when he was a teenager. He served 4 years for the crime and then followed it up with 7 years for manslaughter.Photo: Swan Gallet/WWD/REX/Shutterstock.The life and death of XXXTentacion.
Before he was fatally shot in June — one of the year’s biggest controversies by itself — rapper XXXTentacion was facing charges that included aggravated battery of a pregnant victim, false imprisonment, domestic battery by strangulation, and witness tampering. His success, and his memorialisation, reinvigorated conversations about hip-hop’s refusal to acknowledge misogyny and violence against women.Photo: Uncredited/AP/REX/Shutterstock.Kanye West
I can’t even begin to make sense of Kanye West’s entire year. He started tweeting again. He was in Wyoming. He dropped 7 albums. He cozied up to Donald Trump. He started beefing with Drake. He said that he was bipolar, then took it back. He started beefing with Drake. Trust me, it was all a big deal. Just go check his Twitter if you don’t believe me.Photo: Andrew H. Walker/Variety/REX/Shutterstock.
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Netflix is clearly up to something. Earlier this week, whispers of a new Black Mirror episode titled “Bandersnatch” started floating around the internet after an official Netflix account tweeted and deleted an announcement that the show would be dropping an episode on 28th December. Netflix has had no comment on these rumours, but sleuths have not given up. While Netflix is staying mum, they have hidden a pretty big easter egg that suggests a whole new possibility: It's not season 5 dropping 28th December but a whole Black Mirror movie.
If you go to Netflix right now (or, more likely, go over to the Netflix tab you already have open) and type in “Bandersnatch,” a Netflix Film pops up titled Black Mirror: Bandersnatch. The description? “Be right back.”
A closer look at the title shows a whole a bunch of Black Mirror stills, with a loading symbol presumably in place of of what the actual image is going to be.
Thanks to the title, we do have some clues as to what it's going to be about. A “bandersnatch” is a creature in the Lewis Carroll poem “Jabberwocky,” when he writes, “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! / The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun / The frumious Bandersnatch!”
The appearance of the creature is pretty much unknown. Other poems have described it as being quick, and talked of its “frumious jaws.”
But will this possible Black Mirror movie take a deep dive into the world of Lewis Carroll, or is there something about the Bandersnatch we're missing?
WE HAVE BLACK MIRROR CONFIRMATION!
Christmas special, December 28th, titled ‘Bandersnatch’ — that’s the episode that was being filmed in (an 80s-decorated) Croydon back in April. The Christmas trees make sense now! pic.twitter.com/4qwcjAZ0Xq
One fan account believes this is going to be a Black Mirror Christmas special, sharing photos taken from filming back in April in Croydon in the UK, with seemingly an 80s makeover. This could be a clue, because a software company in the 80s made a game titled “Bandersnatch” that was never released. Let's hope this Christmas special/movie/episode/WHATEVER doesn't suffer a similar fate.
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Beyoncé is (accidentally) ending the year with a bang. On the same day the singer released photos of her adorable twins, Sir and Rumi Carter, she also may have dropped two new albums on Spotify and Apple Music — but fans are skeptical. Two albums under the name Queen Carter appeared on the streaming platforms and while they're definitely Beyoncé's music, this isn't the Rose IV we were hoping for.
The two albums, Back Up, Rewind and Have Your Way contain tracks with titles like “After All Is Said and Done,” Twerk,” and “Black Culture” — but diehard Beyoncé fans know that all those sound familiar. It turns out, these songs are old b-sides. The next question is this: Did Beyoncé's team put these out or did Camp Carter spring a leak?
so I almost passed out until I realized it’s old music…so who is releasing Beyoncé’s old music as Queen Carter on iTunes?? I WANNA FIGHT pic.twitter.com/ZvsqffJpUf
Refinery29 has reached out to Spotify, Apple Music, and Beyoncé for comment, but this wouldn't be the first time a third party has attempted to dupe Beyoncé fans eager for new music. Last month, a tracklist for a Beyoncé album titled B7 appeared on Spotify and turned out to be a fake.
However, when reached for comment, Beyoncé's team appeared to shut down any possibility of the track list's legitimacy, telling Refinery29 they were “not sure what this is.”
Listen, I get being eager for new music from the singer, whose last album, Lemonade, came out in 2016. But all these (probably) fake leaks just make the waiting worse! If we've learned anything from all these disappointments, it's that when Beyoncé releases new music, we'll know. Let's just hope we'll know soon.
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Ivanka's schedule has not been made public, so each week, we will do our best to cover the public events and forums she attends, the meetings she has with lawmakers and government officials, and her social media presence.
Monday, December 17
Ivanka continues to promote the administration's “Pledge to America’s Workers” — a initiative first launched in the summer. This is worthwhile endeavour until you consider that the Trumps themselves have historically opted out of hiring Americans for their family business.
Nearly 4 in 5 American workers say the private sector is responsible for their retraining and upskilling. We agree and encourage companies large and small to sign our #PledgetoAmericasWorkers and invest in their current and future workforce. Learn More: https://t.co/jlJJf8tXmg
The first daughter also celebrated the Senate passed the National Quantum Initiative Act, a legislation meant to accelerate the development of quantum computing. (The bill passed the House later in the week and was sent to President Trump's desk.)
Tuesday, December 18
Ivanka continued to tout ending human trafficking as one of her main portfolio issues, this time celebrating that four bipartisan bills were on the verge of passing Congress.
The presidential adviser live tweeted the Senate vote on the FIRST STEP Act, a historic prison reform bill. On Instagram, she shared a picture of her husband Jared Kushner, who lobbied for the legislation, and wrote: “Lots of vision, grit and elbow grease by many (so proud of my husband!) to secure the votes being counted now. Let’s do this! #FirstStepAct #CriminalJusticeReform”
A post shared by Ivanka Trump (@ivankatrump) on Dec 18, 2018 at 5:45pm PST
Wednesday, December 19
The Senate voted to pass another one of the bipartisan bills Ivanka has been championing, the Women's Entrepreneurship & Economic Empowerment Act (WEEE Act). Back in the summer, the first daughter spent time meeting with lawmakers in Capitol Hill about the legislation. The bill now goes back to the House. Ivanka wrote: “This important bipartisan legislation will help advance gender equality globally!”
The FIRST STEP Act passed the House and Ivanka dubbed the victory “A Christmas miracle years in the making!” #Cut50, an organisation that lobbies for criminal justice reform, told Refinery29 Ivanka and Jared's involvement was instrumental to pass the legislation.
The first daughter tweeted joyously about the passage of the 2018 farm bill, which in part protects Americans who rely on food stamps. On the same day, her father's administration announced it will try to override the protections and put tougher requirements on the program's dependents, a move that advocates say will hurt low-income Americans.
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What's next? As 2018 draws to a close and you shift your gaze to what's coming in 2019, we'd like to tell you about some artists to watch out for next year. They span genres, from indie pop to country to SoundCloud stars to someone you saw on The Voice. They have the backing of major industry talents, like Mark Ronson, Pharrell Williams, and Dierks Bentley. They're creating a buzz, be it in the industry or on social media.
These are the voices to listen to in 2019.
King Princess
King Princess dropped an EP, Make My Bed, that bewitched us (and a lot of other people) in 2018. As the first signing to Mark Ronson's Zelig label, she's got quite a leg up among tastemakers. As an openly gay performer, who puts LGBTQ relationships and feminist themes at the forefront of her songs, she promises to be a voice the world can't afford to ignore. Her debut full length is expected next year, along with a North American tour that kicks off in January.SASAMI
She's not new to the L.A. music scene; SASAMI has played keys, bass, and guitar in Cherry Glazerr and Dirt Dress; contributed vocal, string, and horn arrangements to studio albums for Vagabon, Curtis Harding, Wild Nothing, Hand Habits, and more; and, arranged scores for films and commercials. So expectations are high for her solo debut. The two teaser singles she dropped this year got her slots on the road with some the hottest women in indie rock (Mitski, Soccer Mommy, and Snail Mail). We're ready to hear her voice to ring out, loud and true.Astrid S
Those Nordic types do pop music so well. For ages it's been all about Sweden, but Astrid S is making a strong case for turning your attention to the dulcet tones coming out of Norway. Her songs have racked up some 1 billion (with a B!) streams worldwide, making a name for herself in her home country and Europe. Up next: America!WAFIA
This Australian-born artist, who happens to be the daughter of two Iraqi and Syrian immigrants, made one of our favourite New Music to Know tracks in 2018. Pharrell is already a fan, having bumped her track "I'm Good" on his Beats 1 show. She skipped out on med school to make her electro-pop music instead and...well, we're sure the world can live with one less doctor.Mahalia
This British singer/songwriter has a voice that will haunt you for days. She started playing guitar at 12, and this now-20-year-old is poised to be on the vanguard of women in R&B.Tenille Townes
We all know there aren't enough women getting their due in country music, but Townes is poised for a breakthrough with some help from her label, Columbia Nashville, and her tour mate, Dierks Bentley. She's already been picked as a woman to watch by Nashville programs from CMT and the Grand Ole Opry. One listen to her Living Room Worktapes EP of '18, and it's clear to see she's a songwriting talent as well as a singer whose unique voice is going to take her far.Chloe Lilac
This Brooklyn singer/songwriter is a favourite among the SoundCloud set, and it's only a matter of time until she breaks into the mainstream. Her relatable lyrics and dreamy melodies don't just make music. They make moments.Isabelle Brown
If you only listen to Brown's voice, you might hear an ageless, timeless quality. But hold on to your hat: this voice belongs to a 15-year-old. This Brighton-based singer/songwriter penned her first tune at the age of 7 and has been perfecting her craft since. Her exploration into jazz, hip-hop, and soul music has helped Brown create a sound that feels so familiar, yet new and wild, too.Jade Bird
If female rebellion needs a new face, Jade Bird is up to the task with her acoustic guitar in tow. Bird had a successful 2018, with the release of several singles that saw pickup on your local NPR station. Her first full-length is slated for 2019, and with all the angry folky songs she's already dropped – reminders that love isn't the be-all, end-all for women – we can't wait to hear what else she's got up her sleeves.Kassi Ashton
Ashton is a favourite to shoot to stardom in country, with accolades from influential, adoring blogs following her every move. It's easy to see why: she blends pop aesthetics with a presence doused in no-fucks-left-to-give authenticity. She's cracked the code to songwriting, and her voice is one of a kind.
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Since 2003, British documentary photographer Olivia Arthur has journeyed around the world extensively for her work. She’s travelled India and the border between Europe and Asia, photographed the lived experiences of women in Iran and Saudi Arabia, and visualised Dubai through the eyes of a stranger. She’s taken photographs depicting modern love in all its iterations along the banks of the Danube, and documented life in Ugandan and Tanzanian villages for Water Aid. “I didn’t grow up in one particular place because my family travelled a lot,” she explains. “Perhaps that has given me the itchy feet and curiosity about the world that led me to become a photographer in the first place.”
Earlier this year, the Magnum Photos photographer was invited to take part in HOME, a group project which saw a number of the agency’s photographers shoot what the notion of 'home' means to them. It was somewhat different from the far-flung commissions she's used to. At the time, Arthur was pregnant with her second child, a baby girl to be called Lorelei, and her impulses took her on a new type of journey. This time, her odyssey was inwards.
“I had been making black and white portraits for a while when I became pregnant for the second time, and I decided that I wanted to make some portraits of myself in that period too,” she explains. As she began to turn the camera upon herself, the process naturally expanded into a documentation of her family unit; the resulting project, Waiting for Lorelei, forms a beautiful, deeply moving portrait of a little family preparing to grow from three to four. Moments of calm, interspersed with moments of action, are illuminated in black and white in front of her lens.
“These weren’t the first self-portraits I’ve taken, but it was the first time I’ve photographed myself intensely like this or put myself in the spotlight,” Arthur says. “I never really found myself very interesting before but this experience of being pregnant made me see myself quite differently, I was more curious about myself because I became something that I am not familiar with. That’s a special experience, you see yourself from the outside, not just as you.”
When it came to photographing in such a personal capacity, there was a different sort of emotional weight from the kind Arthur was used to, but she says it still felt comfortable to both her and her family from the start. “We are all pretty used to the camera in the family. My husband is also a photographer, so it wasn’t a problem to photograph. I often make quite personal pictures in other people’s worlds so it felt natural that when I should photograph my own world, the images should also be personal and intimate.”
Arthur says there was a gentle apprehension among her family about how things would change with the arrival of Lorelei. “I think the arrival of any baby comes with apprehension and, while the first time you go into it (despite knowing what everybody says) with a certain naivety about how you will handle it, the second time you know that it’s going to be an upheaval on all of you. Particularly for the older child who can’t really be prepared for how things are going to change, even though you keep telling them.”
The images in Waiting for Lorelei distil this feeling of anticipation, and many of them depict very still, very quiet moments that feel around the edges of the anxieties and expectations of impending motherhood. “I’m really glad that I recorded this period of waiting because it’s the part that gets so quickly forgotten after the baby is born and life becomes all about them and the chaos and emotions that come with them. I think waiting and anticipation are very intense (and sometimes difficult) emotions that get easily overlooked by the event when it comes. It certainly made me think about them more and not just rush on forwards as we all tend to do at these times.” It’s no surprise, then, that one of Arthur’s favourite images in the series is one of her more abstract ones, in which a surgical hat appears suspended, or floating, in mid-air against an illuminated curtain, the scene bathed in clinical white. “It was taken at that moment of intense waiting, nervousness and excitement and yet it is strangely calm and beautiful too. It’s lots of things all together,” she says.
One of the most powerful images in Arthur’s series is undoubtedly one of the very last, in which Lorelei, just seconds after being born via Caesarean, is held by a doctor under the surgical spotlight, hovering above Arthur’s body and seen as if through her mother’s eye. It’s the image all of those other anticipatory images were leading towards; the climax of all that shared experience. “My husband Philipp took it for obvious reasons, but we had asked them in advance if we could do it, and they agreed to drop the dividing cloth down the moment she was out,” she reflects. “It was a complete rush of emotions and I was holding her just seconds later.”
HOME, a collaboration between Fujifilm and Magnum Photos, took the form of an exhibition which toured to nine destinations across the world. The photobook can be ordered from shop.magnumphotos.com. Further information on the project and international exhibitions is available at home-magnum.com.
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What good are New Year's resolutions if you don't have a place to keep track of them? Apps are great and all, but nothing beats the organisational bliss that comes from planning your life with good ol' pen and paper.
Whether you're a #PlannerAddict, trying bullet journalling for the first time or just fancy making an elaborate five-year plan (which may or may not come to fruition), check out these beautiful, practical planners we've picked out ahead.
At Refinery29 UK, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
Anthropologie Bad Girls Throughout History Planner, $, available at Anthropologie
Oliver Bonas 2019 Diary A6, $, available at Oliver Bonas
Aspinal of London 2019 Slim Pocket Diary with Pen, $, available at Aspinal of London
Notem EVEN Weekly Journal, Sienna, $, available at Notem
On Friday, Calvin Klein, Inc. and its first-ever chief creative officer, Raf Simons, announced that they would be parting ways — effective immediately. According to WWD, the parties arrived at the decision amicably, and that the brand has decided on a different direction, one that does not align with Simons's vision. For the past two years, the Belgian designer has created Americana ready-to-wear infused with his own artistic inspirations, inspired often by pop artist Andy Warhol and film. Several weeks ago, rumours of tension between Calvin Klein executives and Simons made headlines — including the announcement that the company would stop print advertisements.
Earlier in September, the company set out to pull back some of Simons's responsibilities and drew a contract that reflected a role with fewer input. WWD also reports that, last autumn, Klein decided that areas of the business, like visual merchandising, store concepts, public relations, e-commerce, and more would no longer report to Simons but to its chief marketing officer Marie Gulin-Merle instead. When Simons joined the label in August of 2016, he'd been given total control over all creative direction, and it's reported that he's spent significant time outside of the office following the proposed new contract.
Last month, parent company PVH Corporation's chairman and chief executive officer, Emanuel Chirico, didn't mince words when he revealed sales were not doing well under Simons' direction. “While many of the product categories performed well, we are disappointed by the lack of return on our investments in our Calvin Klein 205W39NYC halo business and believe that some of Calvin Klein Jeans’ relaunched product was too elevated and did not sell through as well as we planned,” Chirico said, noting they'd invested between $60 and $70 million (£48 and £56 million) into the main line and hadn't seen any return. He didn't stop there: “From a product perspective, we went too far, too fast on both fashion and price. We are working on fixing this fashion miss, and we believe that our CK Jeans offering will be much more commercial and fashion-right beginning in 2019, especially for the fall 2019 season.”
Simons' revamps to the brand include changing its ready-to-wear line to Calvin Klein 205W39NYC, completely overhauling the Calvin Klein Jeans imaging, hiring his longtime Simons collaborator, photographer Willy Vanderperre, to shoot its campaigns (featuring everyone from transgender models to the Kardashians), and more.
As a result of today's news, the brand will not show at New York Fashion Week in February for the fall 2019 season; there's no word yet on who will replace Simons.
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We all know the 1934 story by P.L. Travers: An English nanny named Mary Poppins magically descends on a London family and uses kindness, discipline, and an odd sense of adventure to change the lives of the Banks family forever. Thirty years after Mary Poppins was first published, the fictional icon came to life on the big screen, and in Technicolor, with the help of Walt Disney, Julie Andrews, and Dick Van Dyke. Now, Emily Blunt, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Van Dyke (!) are back to reprise the beloved roles in the sequel Mary Poppins Returns.
When the first teaser for the film's second act premiered during the Academy Awards in March, longtime fans of the fantastical story were immediately curious and, admittedly, concerned about whether or not this would exceed the high marks of the original — could it do Andrews and Van Dyke's version justice? Turns out it does, but, surprisingly, not because it tried to replicate what'd already been done. Blunt recently told Refinery29 that she didn't want to one-up the story's legacy but create her own version of Poppins while still paying homage to Andrews' award-winning role.
Modernising a classic character is no easy feat, which is exactly why the producers locked down Hollywood hair and makeup veteran Peter King to design a Poppins fit for Blunt. And when we asked if he secretly did watch the '64 version ahead of shooting (or least print out some photos for inspiration) he firmly replied, "Not at all."
With nothing but a distant childhood memory in his mind, King set out — collaborating with costume designer Sandy Powell, director Rob Marshall, and the stars of the film — to make sure the newest Poppins is just as memorable as the last. So, we asked him to tell us everything: How Blunt's Poppins resembles the original, why Meryl Streep's hair is cut into a trendy orange bob, and exactly how Van Dyke felt about playing one very familiar character. His answers, ahead.
Mary Poppins Might Not Age, But Her Makeup Evolves The sequel picks up 20 years after where the previous left off. While the Banks children, Jane and Michael, are now full-grown adults, Poppins looks as "practically perfect" as ever, which King did on purpose. "[Blunt] and I knew what we wanted to do with the character from the first time we spoke about it," King tells us. Specifically, he didn't want the audience to see Poppins in cakey makeup or heavy lipsticks. Instead, he chose to use lightweight products, like Chantecaille foundation and a cream blush for her lips and cheeks, to get that visible glow.
Although Blunt's skin looks otherworldly on screen (again, totally intentional), King assures us that he simply told Blunt to keep doing whatever she was regularly doing to her skin — it already looked that good. "She'd come every morning to set with her skin already prepped and moisturised. She had a whole regimen that worked for her already, so I suggested she stick to it," King recalls. "But she's also not one of those people who makes a big fuss about an eight-product routine. She just does what she does and it works."
One product King does credit to creating a healthy radiance is the DHC Cleansing Oil. "I like using it a lot and I know [Blunt] likes it as well," he says. "It's fantastic because it doesn't ever dry the skin out while a lot of other products out there can be quite astringent to try and remove makeup."Photo: Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures.The Most Iconic Part About Poppins Didn't Change Although King didn't look to the original to design Blunt's version of Poppins, he did have one rule: The nanny's hair colour would not change. "Of course, I saw the movie when I was a kid and I knew that Mary Poppins had brown hair," he recalls. This contributed to King's vision that Poppins' softness and warmth would translate on screen.
Instead of dyeing Blunt's sun-kissed, blonde lob back to her former shade of brunette, King decided a wig would be the best option. "I prefer creating custom wigs for the actors because if you dye their hair for a role, you'll be back touching it up and re-dyeing it a week or two later," King explains. In other words, nobody has time for that, okay? Throughout the movie, Blunt wears three different wigs, all designed for different scenes. She has her wavy bob, a chin-length, straight bob, and a Victorian updo.Photo: Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures.The Orange Wig Was Meryl Streep's Idea If Poppins exists "outside of time," then her distant cousin Topsy (played by Streep) lives in an alternate universe where everything that's wrong is right, up is down, and wildly bizarre is completely normal — which is exactly why you see Streep in green makeup and a tangerine wig.
Topsy's look came only after King sat down with Powell, Streep, and Streep's longtime makeup artist J. Roy Helland. "We saw [Streep's] costume and noticed lots of lime greens that we thought would look quite nice on the eyes," King recalls. As for the hair, the cut came before the colour. "We knew she'd be wearing a turban, so someone suggested we do this geometric, curly bob," says King. But that colour was all Streep's idea. Her inspiration: Powell — and her outrageously orange hair IRL.Photo: Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures.Dick Van Dyke's Return Was Easier Than The First Go-Round Did you know that Van Dyke played two characters in the original movie? Famously, the hoofer portrayed Bert, the chimney-sweeping jack-of-all-trades, but he also played Mr. Dawes Sr., the director of the London bank whose infectious laughter killed him. In the sequel, Van Dyke returns as Mr. Dawes Jr., the son of his 1964 character.
According to Entertainment Weekly, 93-year-old Van Dyke insisted that he didn't need extensive hair and makeup this time around because of his age. “I thought, ‘Well, this is handy. I’ve grown into the part. I won’t need any makeup!’” the actor said in a press interview with Disney. “They put moustaches and wigs and muttonchops and everything, and I said, ‘You guys realise you’re making up a 90-year-old to look like a 90-year-old? He actually, for me, looked too good. Mr. Dawes in the first one was kind of scruffy. This guy was pretty well turned-out!”
"Yes, we had to put [Van Dyke] in some hair," King recalls. "I spoke to [Marshall] about that because we had to have some continuity for the character." In the first MaryPoppins, Van Dyke was in his 30s, so he had to wear a lot of prosthetic makeup, a bald cap, and a wig to turn into the weathered Dawes. King assures that, this time around, all Van Dyke needed was a white wig and fake facial hair to complete the look. His appearance is brief — two minutes tops — but, of course, he manages to turn a quick cameo into a legendary moment.Photo: Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures.
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According to arecent study by theUSC Annenberg Inclusion Initiative, film criticism is a field overwhelmingly dominated by (surprise, surprise) white men. Not anymore. In Refinery29's new series, our female movie critic will give fresh consideration to the movies we love, hate, or love to hate. It's time for a rewrite.
As far as Christmas movies go, The Holiday is pretty close to perfect. Nancy Meyers’ charming 2006 Christmas fable about two women who swap lives and perfect homes for two weeks to escape their messy problems boasts one of the best of the director’s signature kitchens, a fabulous array of cashmere turtlenecks and shearling coats, and enough twinkly lights to circle the world twice-over. Plus, has anyone in the history of time been more attractive than weepy single dad Jude Law in glasses? There’s even a Hanukkah scene, for people who, like myself, are Jewish but are filled with Yuletide spirit — the best of both worlds!
Still, what makes The Holiday interesting — and worth reexamining more than a decade after its release — is that unlike most holiday-themed movies, it exhorts the viewer to take time for themselves, not just others. It’s the ultimate self-care flick. Take the ending twist, for example, which involves Iris (Kate Winslet), the British journalist who has the misfortune of covering weddings while nursing a broken heart. After nearly two weeks spent desperately trying to forget about Toxic Hot Man Jasper (Rufus Sewell), the co-worker and former lover who once cheated on her but won’t let her move on, he shows up at her holiday dream home in Los Angeles. At first, she’s thrilled. But when it soon becomes abundantly clear that Jasper doesn’t have the slightest intention of giving up his fiancée for Iris, she snaps, and gives him a rousing “I’m done being in love with you” speech, before throwing him out of her life forever.
Unrequited love aside, most of us have experienced a similar moment, when suddenly, you realise your self-worth is not tied in this one person or experience. It’s incredibly freeing to finally know, in one flash of crystal clear sanity, that you are better than whatever has been keeping you down. And in a year where women have faced our fair share of frustrations and obstacles, Iris’ tirade is a cathartic repudiation of all the the toxic men who made 2018 a roiling miasma of despair. We’re done with you!
Perhaps that explains why The Holiday has enjoyed a bit of a renaissance, even as its traditionally more popular contemporary, Love, Actually, has fallen out of favour, in part due to its lionising of mediocre white men. And yet, the initial reviews were pretty solidly negative.
Over at The Guardian, Peter Bradshaw called it a “glutinous film,” compared Jude Law’s character to a serial killer, and christened Jack Black “chubby, yet hubby material.” The A.V. Club’s Scott Tobias gave it a “D” rating, writing: “‘Nancy Meyers’ isn't a real person. ‘Nancy Meyers’ is a robot invented by the studios as a cost-cutting measure to produce the most synthetic romantic comedies imaginable.” At the Wall Street Journal, Joe Morgenstern called it “clearly designed to be a chick flick,” adding that “one bad sign of many in Nancy Meyers' The Holiday is how much the movie's home-swapping women, played by Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz, talk to themselves.”
All in all, it isn’t that surprising — although it is tiresome — that a movie about two women, directed by a woman, would be dismissed as a “chick flick.” Meyers has been fighting that kind of criticism her entire career, even as she has written, and/or directed such classics as Private Benjamin, Father of the Bride, and The Parent Trap. (For the record, Charles Shyer, Meyers’ ex-husband who directed those first two, carries no such stigma.)
And in a way, The Holiday reflects that. It’s a movie about women who have to get away from their immediate environment to be themselves, to emote, to eat cheese and carbs, and drink wine straight from the bottle without fear of judgement, or retribution. Amanda (Cameron Diaz), a movie-trailer maker from Los Angeles, breaks up with her cheating boyfriend (Ed Burns) — another Bad Man who once told her she was bad at sex, and is obsessed with the fact that she can’t cry — and finds herself in need of a break. Over in London, Iris (Winslet) needs a break from Jasper and his seductive curls. And so, after a very brief internet interaction, Amanda ends up in Iris’ picturesque cottage in Surrey, while the latter sets off for Amanda’s Beverly Hills mansion.
Whose arc you care about more shifts depending on your own situation over the years. The first time I saw the film, I was all about Amanda and Graham (Jude Law), Iris’ older brother who shows up drunk in the middle of the night, not knowing there is a stranger staying in his sister’s house. And while I will never not love Law — or his alter-ego, Mr. Napkin Head — I now find myself feeling a lot more sympathetic towards Iris.
This was Winslet’s only foray into rom-com territory, and she’s a treasure. It’s a supreme injustice that she’s paired with Jack Black, the film’s only casting misstep, whose insistence on humming every film score known to man (he is a film composer, get it?) is impossibly grating. But again, he is not the point of her story. What’s more, the film wisely focuses more time and attention on Iris’ lovely friendship with her new neighbour, legendary screenwriter Arthur Abbott (the late Eli Wallach), who regales her with tales of Hollywood’s Golden Age. Winslet and Wallach share infinitely more chemistry than her and Black, whose character, Miles, bizarrely narrates his every creepy gesture (lingering after a cheek kiss, a cringey boob graze) under the very mistaken impression that it makes him seen like a nice guy. The scene in which Arthur gets honoured for his achievement in cinema is a tearjerker that nicely dovetails with Iris’ own moment of self-empowerment — theirs is a touching, platonic love story.
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Is The Holiday utterly predictable? Of course! That’s part of what gives a Christmas movie staying power. It’s comforting, like a warm cashmere throw that you can snuggle in while the world turns white outside. It alternates between feeling modern (AirBnB would be founded two years later, in 2008) and hilariously dated. (Typing “vacation spots” into Google! That fake trailer starring James Franco and Lindsay Lohan!)
But there’s a deeper nostalgic element at play that transcends wistful regret for early aughts bootcut jeans. The film is a solid example of studio rom-coms, a genre that faded from cinemas soon after. The star-studded cast, big-name director, and renowned composer Hans Zimmer stand as reminders of at time when big Hollywood studios owned the Christmas movie market, investing in romantic comedies and family-friendly flicks that dominated the holiday box office, and were hugely popular. The Holidaygrossed $205,135,324 worldwide. (For comparison, Love, Actually grossed $246,942,017 just three years earlier). Today, Netflix wants to own Christmas cheer (not to mention rom-coms), churning out dozens of films for audiences nostalgic and hungry for the genre. The Holiday is a film that (sometimes maddeningly) loves to talk about, and celebrate movies!
The film also has its flaws. Like so many of Meyers’ films, it is overwhelmingly white. The only people of colour are those working service jobs around Amanda’s large home. And as Elizabeth Logan pointed out over at Glamour in a piece timed to the film’s 10th anniversary, the individual stakes are fairly low: These are affluent women with very little to lose (although Iris does briefly consider suicide, in a moment that should be treated more seriously than it is). The Holiday exists in a world where women can run in three-inch heels, wear necklaces to bed, and somehow emerge from a drunken stupor with their hair perfectly blown out and lipstick intact, ready to be sexily embarrassed by a stupidly hot hookup who is already downstairs making coffee, because he’s also a dear. It's the magic of Christmas at work!
What’s more, it doesn’t actually tie up loose ends. We don’t really know what happens after the end credits roll on our lovebirds partying it up in that beautiful country cottage. What does the New Year bring? Does Amanda quit her high-paying career that she’s worked hard for to move to London for book-editor Graham? Does he move his two daughters halfway around the world to be with her? (He IS daddy!) What about Iris? Presumably she could find work as a reporter in Los Angeles, but… in this economy?
Ultimately, these are all useless questions. The Holiday simply doesn’t exist beyond the confines of Christmas. It’s an appealing escapist fantasy that is actually about escaping one’s reality, a rom-com whose core message is for women to learn to love themselves, with an added bonus of romantic happy endings for all.
2018 can have Love, Actually. In 2019, let’s aim for The Holiday.
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London rents are so stratospheric that Mayor Sadiq Khan has recently said he wants to introduce New York City-style rent controls. But thankfully, compared to some parts of the UK, they're hardly rising at all.
According to new figures from mortgage website Landbay, Edinburgh is home to the UK's fastest-growing rents – with an average annual rise of 4.63% across the Scottish capital.
Nottingham is right behind with an average annual rent rise of 4.62%, followed by Stirling with 3.26%, Leicester with 3.16% and Inverclyde with 2.93%.
Across London overall, rents have risen this year by an average of 0.58%. But in six London boroughs (Barnet, Brent, Enfield, Harrow, Kensington & Chelsea, and Hillingdon), average rents have actually fallen in 2018.
At the other end of the scale, rents have fallen fastest in five parts of Scotland: Aberdeenshire (an average fall of 7%), Aberdeen city (-6.23%), Angus (-1.75%), Moray (-1.26%) and South Ayrshire (-0.68%).
“On the face of it the scale of declining rents in Aberdeenshire and Aberdeen may appear concerning,” says Landbay's CEO and founder John Goodall. “However, the reality is that these are exceptions, linked to issues surrounding Scotland’s oil industry.”
South of the Scottish border, rents have also dropped notably this year in Buckinghamshire, Darlington, Luton and Bracknell – good news considering that renting is now a long-term prospect for many of us. Just 27% of people aged 25 to 34 now own their homes, and it was reported in April that a third of millennials can expect never to own their own homes.
Check out the 10 UK locations with the fastest-growing rents below. The figures in brackets represent the average monthly rent, followed by the average rent rise this year.
1. Edinburgh (£1,073, 4.63%)
2. Nottingham (£688, 4.62%)
3. Stirling (£796, 3.26%)
4. Leicester (£662, 3.16%)
5. Inverclyde (£539, 2.93%)
6. Conwy (£609, 2.76%)
7. York (£785, 2.73%)
8. Merthyr Tydfil (£507, 2.69%)
9. Bristol (£939, 2.58%)
10. Ceredigion (£668, 2.50%)
Check out the 10 UK locations with the fastest-falling rents below. The figures in brackets represent the average monthly rent, followed by the average rent drop this year.
1. Aberdeenshire (£1,360, -7.00%)
2. Aberdeen City (£580, -6.23%)
3. Angus (£444, -1.75%)
4. Moray (£712, -1.26%)
5. South Ayrshire (£464, -0.68%)
6. Buckinghamshire (£1,166, -0.47%)
7. Barnet, London (£1,483, -0.47%)
8. Darlington (£417, -0.46%)
9. Luton (£775, -0.39%)
10. Bracknell Forest (£942, -0.37%)
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But 2019 is going to be about baby names inspired by zeitgeist-defining TV shows, according to parenting website Baby Centre.
After the name Arya grew in popularity this year, other Game of Thrones character names such as Sansa, Tyrion, Jon and Dany (short for Daenerys) are predicted to become hip in 2019.
Thanks to the social media buzz around hit BBC dramas Bodyguard and Killing Eve, the names David (the character played by Richard Madden), Julia (Keeley Hawes' character) and Eve (Sandra Oh's character) are expected to climb the baby-name charts, too.
But whether parents will opt to name their daughters Villanelle after Jodie Comer's badass Killing Eve character remains to be seen.
With the release of the eagerly-anticipated Frozen sequel in November, Baby Centre predicts that the names Anna and Elsa, as well as Olaf and Kristoff, will enjoy a resurgence in popularity.
The names Jemima and Beatrix are also tipped for a comeback because of the enduring popularity of Beatrix Potter's classic children's novel The Tale of Jemima Puddle-Duck. Peter was a popular choice in 2018, the website says, thanks to the success of the Peter Rabbit animated movie.
But perhaps most surprisingly, several names associated with the '70s are predicted to become hip again in 2019. After Brian, Barry and Patricia bounced back in 2018, Baby Centre tips Cliff, Christine and Susan for a resurgence in 2019.
The website also says that names including Cairo, Dallas and Israel have become more popular as parents name babies after trendy travel spots. So it could be worth looking to 2019's list of hottest global destinations for a little unusual naming inspo.
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